Why Don’t People Listen

by Hugh Mackay

isbn: 0-330-35595-3

This is a great book but a very long read.  Mackay uses a family (husband and wife (second marriage) with 2 children) everyday communication as the back drop to demonstrate how and why our communication goes so wrong. 
I’m sure as you read this book, you will recognise yourself several times and think ah-ha that is why I didn’t get my message across! 

Some of my favourite snippets are:
• It’s not what our message does to the listener, but what the listener does with our message, that determines our success as communicators.

• When we speak of a powerful message, we are really referring to the power of the message to evoke a response, not to shoot a bullet of meaning into the mind of another person.

• We are the prisoners of our experiences.

• We don’t only perceive and interpret selectively; we remember and forget selectively, as well.

• The cage is one of our most powerful psychological weapons.  It gives us the ability to shape the world to our liking.  In communication, it (the cage) allows us to deal with messages in a way which confirms what we already thought or what we had expected to hear – even when that was not the intention of the speaker.

• Listeners generally interpret messages in ways that which make them feel comfortable and secure.

I do encourage you to read or at least flip through this book.